Whenever I Get Too Happy Something Bad Always Happens…Too Bad It Doesn’t Work In Reverse

Disclaimer:  This is an unedited post with multiple disjointed thoughts made by me in my current state of delusion

I was thinking late last night, as I lay awake knowing sleep was not going to come easy, about happiness and about our perception of happiness.  We all say we want to be happy.  We do things and be with people who are supposed to make us happy.  We find help and take pills to achieve some conditioned level of happiness that society says we should be at.  As I was laying there I wondered if you can ever achieve happiness.

I know you are probably thinking I have lost my mind, which is probably true, but hear me out.  I think many of us think of happiness as a destination.  We think of it as something to be earned or achieved.  Once we have happiness it is ours to lose.  We have finally got it. Then we see other people and we notice how happy they are in their life.  The social media portraying droves of happy people.  All of a sudden we are sitting outside “Happyville” we wonder where it went and why we can’t get there. We ask ourselves why doesn’t our lives look or feel like those?  We eventually figure it is because we have haven’t achieved happiness.

Unfortunately, I think chasing happiness is a fruitless pursuit.  You will never catch it.  You will never reach Happyville.  For some of you, I am now confirming your suspicions that I am crazy.  You believe you are happy.  You think you have reached Happyville.  Well, I am glad you believe you have made it.  If you don’t mind would you please pass along the Kool-aid or whatever you are drinking.  Then again if you have read a lot of my blog you could probably recognize that my grasp on abstract ideas and feelings is not very good.  So bear with me.

So why can’t you make it to Happyville?  Why doesn’t it exist?  I believe this is rooted in the concept of happiness itself.  If you think about the things that make you happy, how many of those things are concrete things.  How many of them are things that are easily explained or identifiable?  I would bet that there are not many of those things and the few that you can think of are not long lasting.  When you were a kid how many presents did you receive that made you truly happy?  How many did you think would make you happy if you got them only to realize later that it was only a brief moment of happiness?

I know I am asking a lot of questions without explaining a lot but it is because I am not very experienced in this area.  Here is what I am thinking happiness is:  It is not a destination but a journey.  It is the path that you choose everyday.  It is the environment you put yourself in because it creates an atmosphere of happiness.  It is the things you do everyday and how you perceive them.  Happiness is us striving to achieve.  If you are striving to be happy and suddenly find yourself happy can you stop doing the work that got you there.  Or was the work you did to become happy actually what made you feel that way?  Is the journey more important than the destination?

Lets look at this in the context of a relationship.  When we are alone and looking for friends, lovers, and people to surround us, do we focus on them or ourselves.  I am sure it is a little of both but I bet we spend most of the time looking at ourselves.  We try and make ourselves more attractive to potential mates.  We make ourselves more likable to people whom we want to become friends.    We focus on making us better.  Yet, when we get those relationships do we continue to put in the same effort?  I doubt it.  So we stop making the effort that got us the things which made us “happy”.

Where does this get us?  It gets us looking around wondering why everyone else is so much happier than we are.  Why does her husband still treat her like they are first dating?  Why does she still flirt with him and carry herself like she is in the first weeks of a relationship even though they have been married for years.  Why can’t we be like that?  Why because happiness is in the journey.  It is in the chase, the excitement knowing you are always on someone’s mind.  The fleeting illicit thoughts of what happened the night before.  It is in the decision not to be content with what you have but to continue to chase what you have always wanted.  Even when she is with you the entire way.  Happiness is something that the more you look for the less you will have because you only see what you are missing.

I think I am afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens.  – Charlie Brown

charlie-brown

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About bac4sccr

I am just a run of the mill, ever day father/husband who is just trying to navigate my way back to where I want to be. Unfortunately there isn't an "Easy" button or a "Reset" button or I would be hitting them repeatedly. This is just my journey from my perspective.
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16 Responses to Whenever I Get Too Happy Something Bad Always Happens…Too Bad It Doesn’t Work In Reverse

  1. Same thing happens to me too! I am also very afraid to be happy so much because I fear something bad would happen next..But we should keep ourselves happy..after all we are the very first ones who should find happiness in what we do and get..I hope that helps..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Whenever I Get Too Happy Something Bad Always Happens…Too Bad It Doesn’t Work In Reverse – Living In A World Of Wonder

  3. Tried to reblog this but the post came out blank so I deleted it 😕 but this is so true, I feel like there’s always something waiting to destroy that sense of happiness you get. It’s scary to even feel it because it doesn’t even last…

    Liked by 1 person

    • bac4sccr says:

      I had to approve the reblog but it should work now if you still want to reblog it.

      Thanks for the comment and I agree. I am moving back to where I was for so long where it is easier to not feel anything than to let in the disappointment for brief moments of “happyville”.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. There was a time when anything good sent me into a tailspin as I waited for the other shoe to drop. Then I decided to take control of my happiness instead of waiting to let other people bring it to me. I’ve had mixed results but as a whole, I’ve been much happier, more able to be optimistic and less affected by the ups and downs of daily life. It mostly comes from being brave and saying ‘no’.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, I like your honesty. Happiness is attainable, but it is not static. Once I decided (and I stress the word decided) that I could be content with whatever situation I found myself, I discovered the ability to turn around my “down” times. My perceptions defined by reality. The old question of “Is the glass half full or half empty?” example. Hopefully, this doesn’t seem too simplistic for you. It takes a great deal of effort to not play in the mud of our minds.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The Twentysomething Social Recluse says:

    I’ve never thought about happiness like that, but I agree with you. A lot of happiness is artificial. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. It’s extremely rare for me to relate to anything so profoundly. I’m glad I came across this. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Dear friend,

    Happiness under the control of mind is just an illusion – and the other way round as well. Often we “buy” happiness in fulfilling somes wishes and are then for short time “happy” – happy with the new car, happy with the delicious dinner we were served, happy with some romantic happenings and so on. I believe that inside we are searching for a kind of permanent happiness but fail to catch it – with the help of our mind. What if we become neutral against prize and criticism – against good and bad things – so that we are untouchted by them? To give up our ego and make space for some higher horizont, as a tool of the ocean of all consciousness… and to see good and bad things just like a reflection, reaction, like an echo of our past thoughts, words and deeds…

    Thanks for sharing and have a nice day
    Didi

    Like

    • bac4sccr says:

      If we become untouchable then how do we enjoy the highs of the good things and the range of emotions we get with the bad things.

      I have been untouchable. Nothing phased me, good or bad. I was the same day in and day out. I was in control and was there with all the answers. Then something clicked, or exploded, and now I am just trying not to drown some days in all the things I kept from touching me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear friend,

        Answer in few words is not possible for this subject. But once you are fully “empty” with your attention 24 hours absorbed in God then you become a tool of Him – I personally know some people who have become these kind of perfect disciples of God, called Gurmukhs – they have given all their blood for the Mission of God and did not know even what means privacy. It is possible, but it is very hard since our mind is controlling us. So first we have to bring our mind under control (in thoughts, words and deeds) – happiness is still there, but no longer a short-term happiness, but a permanent happiness, not meant for worldly affairs, to be happy when God gives you some tasks which you fulfil or when you see that there is only one doer, God, and how the power is working (this gives you happiness too) We think that we are the doers, the actors, but I give an example: The shadow thinks it is moving – but it is the light that moves the shadow… In this kind of state you reach a condition to be all the time happy, happy as God in you is all the time also working (to be in the will of God). With ego and mind in us we will be on the roller-coaster, on the ups and downs, sad and happy from time to time, our mind that is changing its colours like a chamelion (sometimes angry, sometimes happy, sometimes greedy, sometimes lustful and in all shades and colours which we know from our mind)

        If you are interested in getting more information I can provide you with some pdf-books to read. When our mind gets still, then we can feel that there is something unexplainable, something without words, allowing us to enter into a higher state of consciousness.

        Anyway, thank you very much also for your answer.
        Didi

        Like

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