What Do You Think They Will Find???


I ran across this the other day and wonder what they may actually find.  Many people spend so much time thinking about why did we did what we did that things like this sometimes get over looked.



About bac4sccr

I am just a run of the mill, ever day father/husband who is just trying to navigate my way back to where I want to be. Unfortunately there isn't an "Easy" button or a "Reset" button or I would be hitting them repeatedly. This is just my journey from my perspective.
This entry was posted in Coffee Affair, March 2019 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to What Do You Think They Will Find???

  1. It’s interesting that the study is limited to people who have terminated therapy. Looking at the other qualifiers it seems they may be targeting “recovered” or “healed” couples, but there are certainly lots of other reasons that folks stop going to therapy.
    Just my thought…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Carly Quinn says:

    It seems like they’re beating that old dead horse, you can always go back.
    No, no you can’t.
    If you do, here’s your coupon.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. They’ll have a hard time finding participants, I’m afraid.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ImJustJackie says:

    Very interesting. I added your blog link to a tweet of mine

    Liked by 1 person

  5. David Mei says:

    The date on it is a year ago and a quick search of google and MSU turned up nothing. Unsure of its veracity.


  6. A. Nonymous says:

    I would like to see the results. Maybe useful for writing fiction. (Maybe a story that resembles reality instead of much of the far-fetched schlock out there.)


  7. Natasha says:

    Hi I am currently reading through the beginning of your story and wanted to know if you are still with your wife. And what has happened. I hope either way you both are doing well and have moved forward hopefully together .


    • bac4sccr says:

      We are still together, different but together. I have thought about doing an update do many times but I write things and then just delete them because I can’t make the words say what I feel.

      Are you going through it now?


      • Natasha says:

        I know you will find this weird. But no I have not cheated on my husband and as far as I know he has not cheated on me. Maybe he has but I don’t think so. But my father cheated on my mother so maybe that is why I am looking at these sites.
        I feel very happily married and I have been told by my husband he is too.
        I’m sorry to hear that your marriage is not as strong as you probably both we’re hoping. Have either of you thought about why that is. In as I assume you both still want to be together otherwise you would be divorced. Also has your wife read your blog. And maybe she should read other blogs as well. To get different perspective from other people. From what I have read so far you are so completely different from the other husbands that have cheated. You seem to have tried to be open and honest with your wife. When you say different are you meaning together in the house but living separate lives kind of thing. I really hope that you can get through this together. I don’t know maybe I can help if you don’t mind me saying. Just as another perspective.


        • bac4sccr says:

          We definitely have talked about the reasons our marriage took the path it did. Most of it is not understanding how to ask for what you need and the other person not valuing what they are asking.

          We both felt more like roommates than spouses. We were great in making the household run well, but not give each other what we needed.


          • Natasha says:

            Unfortunately in every relationship we always take each other for granted. Therefore we don’t look after our relationship.
            I hope you have a better relationship with each other. As I said I have only been with my husband sexually. Our sex life is extremely active seven days a week. For long time. I suppose when our children were younger we were not as active but still active. Are your children in their late teens and are they still living with you. I do think now parents are too focused on keeping their children busy and active therefore life as a family and as a husband and wife get ignored as as you now know it’s becomes detrimental to a marriage


        • bac4sccr says:

          Sorry, I misunderstood your different comment. We are much different than from before the affair. Our marriage died with the affair and so did we, as the couple we once were.


          • Natasha says:

            Hi Bac4sccr you know that is not a bad thing that you have a different marriage. You both were very young when you married. I myself have such a different view of my husband now then when I had when I was 18. Not that it is a bad thing. You see I was young like you when we met. When we get older our views on life change. So we will always have a different view of life. In 10 years you will think differently to now. Here is an example. My husband but at the time my boyfriend use to say every one at his work did not like him. He has had at least 10 different jobs in the same field his is in and in every job he has had trouble with people. Well I was so upset to think that people would not like my boyfriend he was just so wonderful how could anyone not see that. To me my husband at that time the sun shone out of his backside as far as I was concerned. Now years later I can totally understand how people was getting pissed off at him. So I have a totally different perspective of him. But I still love him very much. We have been together for 34 years married for 28. You both can be a great couple together but in different way. Not just because of the affair but also because you both have matured therefore your thoughts will be different. I hope I am making sense.


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