Is love enough???
That was a question my wife posed to me the other night. She told me that love might not be enough and there might be too many differences for me to want to stay. It was an interesting question. I don’t really know the answer. With the different amounts of love out there, I don’t know if there is a perfect mix.
The real reason she brought this up is because she told me that I was okay to walk away at any point. If I did not think that she was what I really wanted then I could walk away. I told her the same thing. I said that she has more reasons than I do to walk away and if it gets too hard I will understand if she can not do it any more.
So we both told each other that the other person had a free pass out of the marriage. I did not put a lot of thought into it until last night when I brought it up in one of our conversations. She told me that she did not like it when I said that to her. She thought I was giving her a hint that she should leave and my focus is not on fixing our marriage it is on the exit. I was surprised by this and I told her I was. She asked me then what do I think when she tells me that I can leave at anytime or when I say it to her.
I said that we have always had a free pass out. From day 1, nothing was keeping us married other than our choice to be married. So when she tells me I have a free pass, I hope it reaffirms to her that I know that I have an out, but I am choosing to stay and work on us. I told that I think the same thing when I say it to her. That she has a way out but she is choosing me over the exit.
She liked this view and saw how it could be comforting. As for her real question which is hidden in her conversation, do I need more from her than just love. Are their changes that I am expecting that she just cannot do, so even though I love her it might be best if I found someone more closely aligned to what I want. I told her the same thing. I reminded her that we are both working on ourselves, as well as each other, and neither of us know how we are going to turn out in the end, not as individuals and not as a couple.
There is no reason for us to worry about things like that until, at least for me, we get our heads screwed on straight. There are tons of things I love about my wife and could not live without. I think she is thinking on the few things that she isn’t but the pro’s out weigh the con’s in this situation. The real problem is I am not making her feel like that. I am not making her feel like the things I love about her are so much more important than the little things that bother me. Everyone has things they don’t like about their spouse, you just want more good than bad in the end. I think when the bad is focused on and highlighted it seems like bigger than what it really is in the relationship.
Just a quick post today, but I really do want to know: Is Love Enough???
My trouble was I had a mind but I couldn’t make it up – Dr. Seuss