Toxic

3d small people - radiation

Here are 3 songs that I play over and over and over.  There is just something about them that keeps me focused and helps me from going crazy.

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About bac4sccr

I am just a run of the mill, ever day father/husband who is just trying to navigate my way back to where I want to be. Unfortunately there isn't an "Easy" button or a "Reset" button or I would be hitting them repeatedly. This is just my journey from my perspective.
Aside | This entry was posted in April 2015, Coffee Affair and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Toxic

  1. Anonyman says:

    I love the Airborne Toxic Event, but I had to stop listening to them because they were keeping me from moving on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bac4sccr says:

      Yes they are a huge trigger but I can’t let them go. One of the things I did with the OW was share playlists on Spotify. Two of these songs were on one of the playlists. This would be hard to give up because I frame my life with music. All major events in my life are tied to songs.

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  2. KcRambles says:

    I second that. I love the Airborne Toxic. They are a great source of inspiration for some of my current writings.

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  3. Anonyman says:

    Yep, still can’t listen to Fifth Day…

    Allow me to suggest you find new songs, songs of healing. I recommend pretty much anything by Mumford and Sons (IHAA and I have a theory that their second album is about remorse for an affair) but especially The Ground Beneath my Feet from their album Babel.

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    • bac4sccr says:

      I really like mumford and sons. I listened to them a lot before the affair.

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      • horsesrcumin says:

        My partner texted me at work one day the chorus to Little Lion Man before it was released as a single. It broke my heart a little more. He got it. “It was not your fault, but mine. It was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear.” For a very brief moment I thought the words were his. Then I realised he’d borrowed them to express his regrets and deep sorrow. Gut wrenching.

        I would suggest trying to get these musical links to the memories of the OW broken as soon as possible. Like Anonyman says, they will keep you stuck. I know mourning is normal, but after a while you need to actively break those mental links, forge new ones with/about your wife. If not your wife, sonething else positive in your life, maybe some refreshers of the music that spoke to you when you were first falling in love with each other. Songs from your children’s baby years, just anything that can pull you away from memories of the OW. It does need to be done. The OW was a fantasy, a way to escape. She was not really real. You didn’t see the everyday reality of a life with her. Her shit stinks, too! Always remember that. Affairs are little snippets of a life where the boring stuff of life does not encroach.

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        • bac4sccr says:

          Thanks and I completely agree. I refer to my time with her as fantasy land. Great place to visit but if you stay it becomes a nightmare. Even during the affair my life was a living hell and only inside my head.

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