I don’t know if I have ever mentioned it but I get migraines. I am not talking about bad headaches but real crazy bad, I hope the world would end type of migraine. For some reason they have been coming more often as of late. I usually can feel them coming on a few days before. I will start getting headaches that I cannot get rid of. Sleep does not help, neither does medication. If I am lucky it slowly diminishes and never makes it to migraine status but lately it has been not diminishing. I think I have had a headache for 3 or 4 days now. What I did not know until recently that my brain is messed up.
Okay, I think it is safe to say my brain has been messed up for a long time. I think most would argue the the functioning of my brain is what is messed up but I am talking chemically and possibly physically. I am not a medical doctor so I cannot say for sure, only what I am reading on the all-knowing internet.
I began looking up a weird feeling I kept getting in my head and waves of dizziness. They both go away pretty quickly so they weren’t much of a bother but I thought I should look them up anyways. I take about 1000 pills each morning, okay maybe not that many but it seems like it. So I immediately figure that it is probably a interaction between two drugs that is causing the sensations. As I began to search for it I came across a few things that sounded exactly like what I had going on. People would describe their head as foggy or swimmy or like it is melting. These same people also commented on the same dizziness as well. It did seem to be related to one of the drugs I am taking and my migraines.
According to what I read, (I really don’t know if it is real but it describes what happens to me) leading up to a migraine and for a few weeks after your brain is altered. There are chemical imbalances and things do not operate as they would normally. So for the few days before and a few weeks after I have these weird side effects. I am not sure if I should be concerned or grateful. At least now I have a more accurate predictor of when I am getting one. Like right now. I can try all the things I know to keep it from coming on, most of the time it won’t matter but I am grateful for the times it does work. I also don’t like the thought of me adding chemicals to my brain when it is all screwed up and this is exactly what I am doing while taking all my medications. I don’t know if there are other consequences to adding chemicals to a chemically altered brain.
I used to have migraines when I was a kid, probably junior high age, but not very often and then they went away about the time I got to high school. I have not really had any until a few years ago. I don’t know what the trigger was, what started them back up but it was one of the worst I have ever had in my life. It was a good welcome back party for my migraines. It happened while I was celebrating my anniversary and it was bad enough to land me in the hospital. It knocked me out for about 2 days. Both my wife and I seem to think that is a significant date almost when things began to spiral out of control in our relationship. She is the one who kind of put it together and pointed out that event was a big point in where are relationship ended up going. Now I read all the stuff about changing my brain for long after the migraine and I wonder if it could have other effects as well. I have wondered if it disrupts how I am processing everything around me.
Honestly I have no idea on whether it really makes a difference or not, but I can say that I really wish this headache would go away but wishes are as useful as unicorns and rainbows, great to dream about but not terribly useful.