Today is a risky post. Why? Well I am going to let you into my personality just a bit. Then maybe people may see why I am so hard on myself. The risky part is not me sharing this, no, it is the fact that I may be identified by what I am going to share. It is a view I have shared with quite a few people before, so you may recognize me from this view point. It is pretty slim because I am sure it went in one ear and out the other for most people. So hopefully no one will recognize me.
Well, here is my personal philosophy on the universe. Some people may be offended, I never know why but when I have shared this before some people were quite upset. I really have no idea why. I am not asking anyone to agree with me. Everyone else can have their own view. And the funny thing is I am the one who can influence it.
So, I believe that everything in the Universe revolves around me. I am the center and I influence everything. Feel free to process that statement. Think about it. Is it possible? It is more than possible, it is factual. I am not egotistical, I am a realist and the reality of it is that I am the center of the Universe. Right now you are revolving around me and I am influencing you. Sounds crazy, but it is very real.
Here is how I explain it. There is everything in the world, in the universe, and how much do you not know about? Lots I bet. Well, then does it exist? I would argue that it does not. The thought of the possibility it exists, exists, but not the actual things themselves. Why? Because they are not real. The thought of them may exist, but not the reality of those things. Things can only be real to a person if they are realized by that person. Once they are realized then those things can become real. Think about how many times people have believed in things that do not exist. The Lochness Monster, not real, but tell that to the people who believe otherwise and you could have a fight. Well because no one really knows for sure then it is the perception of that item that exists, not the thing itself. Once those perceptions real you can influence them how you would like. Each person gives the things the know about the amount of power those things have on them. For example religion, there are many different religions and beliefs but that does not matter. What matters is what a person believes in? Belief in the religion is what gives it power over a person. There are requirements and restrictions that are required of all religions and by giving the religion power you have to commit to those requirements and restrictions otherwise you suffer from internal dissonance. You have guilt. But all the people who do not have the same beliefs do not have the same guilt when they do the things that are restricted or required by your religion. If guilt is an internal feeling then in theory you should have control over it, or at least the source of it. If you cannot stop the guilt internally, then cut off the source. which would be the religion.
So everything I know about and understand is under my power. I can decide how much power I can give to anything. What about objects or things like that? Can I influence them? Absolutely! I am not talking about telekinesis. Instead you have the ability to picture things anyway you want. What do I mean? Well, have you ever gone to someone’s house and you wonder who the interior decorator was that puked all the flowers all over the house. Or looked at a painting and wonder “Was he intoxicated and blindfolded when painted this?”. Now think about other peoples reactions to those same things. Someone thought a house full of flowers was a great idea and looked very good to them and the same with the painting. They have just decided to view the same things differently. I influence those items by the value I place on them.
Ah! But what about people you say? I say that I have already proven that one. Your quizzical expression means you don’t understand. I just have to tell you that I have influenced you just by having this conversation. You will forever be altered because we had this talk. Even just in passing, when you are walking down the street, you influence people by your presence. It could be smell, change of direction because you are in the way. Or it may be how you interpret those people. You may find one super attractive. Once they pass you the only place they will continue to exist is in your mind. From there you can control them as you see wish.
If you notice, I said from the beginning that I can influence everything, not control. Why? Because my perceptions and reactions are my realities. Who has control over those perceptions and reactions, well I do. So there for I can influence everything that is in reality. I am the center of the universe because without me my universe would not exist and neither would any of you.
I wrote this as a Freshman in college a long time ago (or something similar). I do believe a lot of it. The only part I should add is that sometimes your mind can divide and create multiple realities which can cause internal distress. And sometimes finding the ability to control your mind and the perceptions and reactions is too difficult for people, including myself. But that is because you cannot control only influence.
Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well that’s because he’s a guy – Dr. Seuss
Surviving the affair....the cheaters perspective 
The thing is, everyone is the centre of their own universe. Everyone. Just that most of us don’t express it quite in this blatant manner. This can come across as confronting, and yes, egotistical, when stated in those terms. I don’t think you are wrong, per se, just that your manner of expression may be confronting to most of how society behaves (disrupting social norms.) I think it is also a very gender-specific way to view this. Men are enculturated to believe this far more than women are. They are the “movers and the shakers”. Supposedly the ones expected to ‘earn’, to ‘solve problems’, while us meek little women sit about wringing our hands in indecision and weakness. This is all a cultural construct. And so many of us have bought into it. I know I have always challenged it, but ultimately, I fell into a pretty traditional female role once our children hit the ground. It frustrated me. Because I am the star of my own show! So, yeah, the universe does “revolve around you.” I get what you mean. But maybe the lens needs to be widened a tad to see that everyone is the star of their own show. This kind of thinking is kind of a kicking off point for affairs, “I DESERVE this happiness” when other people also have rights to safety and happiness. I think the entitlement that goes with this makes one very susceptible to affairs, and then the self pity when it all goes pear-shaped. Hey, this is not a judgement on you, I am also ‘guilty’ of this kind of thinking, but as a woman, I guess my lens was already set on panorama, because I looked out for three little people, my partner, my community, every-bloody-body-else-before-me. That isn’t to say I didn’t want to be able to be more self centred, it just goes with the territory in our type of society.
An interesting post 🙂
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I agree! I do wonder if this type of thinking is gender based because I know my husband thinks this way too! When I had children I was thinking about them and my husband and everybody else except myself – then my husband had an affair. Just this morning he said he doesn’t understand why I’m still in pain and that he wants to put the affair in the past. Hmmmm……he is still only thinking of himself here, not me. He needs to do some introspection.
Now I am glad this blogger (I forget your name!!!) is writing his personal thoughts out, that is an introspection of sorts. At least he is looking inward at himself even if it is a type of selfishness. It is a needed selfishness to be healthy. When one thinks too much about themself above and beyond others, then it becomes unhealthy. There has to a happy-medium here to get what we all need.
Now about doing something stupid once, is that a ‘guy’ thing? I know some guys are really “forget about it” types because they don’t see any real consequences to their actions and let stuff go really fast. But what about when you deliberately hurt someone else? Does this same rule apply?
As for this post, yes it can be seen as being egotistical but I do not think it is really reality. Reality consists of other people and our interactions with them. Think about Ecology. There can be controlled chaos in many events involving situations with others. Our sense of self cannot be at the core of everything even though that is what we choose to see, but rather I think our own self is part of a larger component that works with other mechanisms beyond our control. For instance, take survival of the fittest theory— to some the animal that survives is merely doing what nature does, surviving no matter what happens to the other animals around itself. But when applied to humans, this can be seen as selfish. As humans we have the ability to feel compassion and empathy and have a higher state of being to think of others and not just ourselves to survive. We actually need other humans to not feel alone and to feel needed. How does this happen? Well we interact with each other. But is this for selfish reasons? Some would say yes and I would probably agree. But then the survival mode kicks in, as a human we do anything without regard to others to survive. We can only view ourselves as the most important because we are just trying to survive. I can see that and understand that aspect.
But, yes another but, we are already at our demise the very first time we interact with another human being because they have the ability to overthrow and overpower us if we are not careful. So why do we bother interacting then? Well it comes full circle and has to do with our survival.
What we do everyday anywhere directly impacts someone else whether we realize this or not.
I tried to fix this post so I will apologize if it doesn’t make sense! I’m already tired from working all day!
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It makes sense. I do not think that men should get a stupid pass for things they do, nor do I think women should either. This is why I think people should have to pass a common sense test to graduate high school. That would help eliminate the amount of stupid passes needed. As for intentional acts of stupidity, there should never be a stupid pass for those. You should be responsible for your actions, intentional or not.
As for everything else, I think a lot of people are missing my point. By being the center of the universe does not mean I have control over everything, or anything really. Just as the sun is the center of our solar system yet it does not control everything. Does it influence things, yes. So as I am the center of the universe I can create whatever reality I want, no matter if other people see it as their reality or not. What I don’t know doesn’t exist in my world because I am not aware of it. So everything I know I can change my view of it in my head. So everything is centered around me because I am the one giving them “life” (for lack of a better term). Do I control them? Nope, but I can view them anyway I want and how they are in my own reality.
If I get you correctly then you are not too far off from this thought.
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Oh, I can see how you think that but just because the universe revolves around me doesn’t mean I have to be selfish or not a kind person. It just means I have the power to choose.
Now if I could only get control of my mind back…
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Yeah, I hear you. And I get it. But it’s a case of the power to control/change what you can (and I know you are both working so hard at that) and the grace (and good sense) to accept what you can’t control/change. That’s the hardest part 🙂
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Absolutely. This is not the be all end all for me. I am much more complex than that now. Or more confusing 🙂
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Hey man, I get where you’re coming from.I used to wonder if the person next time is seeing what I’m see. When I look around see people, mountains, trees.. I wonder if the other person sees the same thing, or if they live in a totally different reality. Or.. if that person is even there. A little extreme, but I get it, we all live in the reality that we create for ourselves. Our thoughts, perceptions, that comes from within us… so I get what you mean totally. But I think even within your own philosophy is contradiction: you start off by saying the universe revolves around you, and that you are in a position of power to determine what is real and what isn’t. But then, you later recognize you’re limitations in that you’re not really the one in control of the universe, but that you can only influence things – and how you perceive it.
So then really, you’re not really in control of the universe, nor does it revolve around you. All you can do is influence how you perceive the universe, but the universe keeps running. And everyone continues to live within their own realities/perceptions created by their own minds.
Now here’s an interesting question, if you controls the universe, then who controls you? You can say yourself, but if you were truly in control, then why do you have conflicting thoughts. Why do you struggle. If the universe revolves around you, then why couldn’t you just perceive your wife’s depression and rejection as something positive ( a chance to really show how much you love her, instead of a negative (rejection, loneliness, frustration). And even now, why do you still feel lows, anger and depression? This isn’t a judgement of your character, but just an example. You mention your mind can split to create different realities and hence the cognitive dissonance…. so who controls your mind? And when you have many options in front of you, how do you know which one you should choose? Perhaps in thinking we’re the ones with full control, then we fool ourselves with just how little power we really have
This goes into my point about religion. Before I get into my opinion, I want to make clear I am NOT judging you or trying to get you to become religious. I think people choose religion because they recognize that even within their universe, there has to be a higher power that’s truly in control, the power that connects everyone’s different universes together in the same reality. After all, everyone lives in their own universe, but we all live together in the same existence… so who oversees that existence? Also, people that choose religion choose to recognize that perhaps they don’t have as much control in their lives as they think – after all, when our hearts are divided, then how do we know what we should do? And so comes the idea of living for something else besides ourselves- to have ourselves be accountable to something else in order to guide our actions, and help us decide whats the “right” reality we should choose. This is entirely by faith as you can’t prove one religion is truer than another. But we put our faith into one religion, to be accountable to that, so that we don’t have to be fighting within ourselves on what reality to choose, but to have that guide for us. And of course there are other factors too such as life after death, karma etc….
I don’t think you’re selfish in thinking this way – you are simply exploring what is truth, reality, and how the mind works. In the end, you’re actions, and which “reality” you choose, will define who you are and who you want to be.
Anyway I’m rambling now. Thanks again for sharing your honest thoughts.
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I like your perspective but I think the universe still revolves around me. The contradiction you mention isn’t really a contradiction only because perception is reality. So while I may not control things I could perceive that I do and therefore my reality would be me controlling everything. But I also get your point, as I don’t fully think this way, but I do understand the influence both good and bad I can have.
As for who controls me? I do. I think we have multiple versions of ourselves and one central control unit. When something happens then the correct version of yourself should step forward and take charge of that reality. This is why you can have bad days and good days because that is the side of you that controlled reality. Now if you can learn to control yourself then you master everything.
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Impossible, because everything actually revolves around me.
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touche
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Kay. But how does that exain why you’re hard on yourself? I think it explains why you’re perhaps hesitant to take on new ideas ? But I think you got it squarely on point to say that your mind can have two realities. In reality, its just chemical soup up there. Manipulate the concentrations, manipulate the “reality”. Thats what CBT is all about. I intermittently experiment with acting in accordance with a different reality with mixed results. Mostly because of my attention span. 😊
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Good question. I am hard on myself because I have a set view of myself and when I don’t live up to it then I have feelings of failure. Now when it is self-inflicted then I am even harder. How does this fit within my reality? Well if I am in control of my own reality, then ultimately I am doing this to myself. I am causing all this pain to myself. You could argue that is true even without this view. But because I should have control over my own reality then I have to be hard on myself to get me back on track.
I think the main part is there is multiple parts of me that control me at different times. When the wrong part of me is in charge then bad things can happen. I need to be more in control so I have the correct part of me in control at the correct times.
Hopefully this makes sense.
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I think you are talking about insight. You have a set view of yourself but why? How did u choose it? What values guided your choice? If you are not living up to it, is it really something you value? I dont think you need to shut the wrong oarts down but you need to figure out why that discordance exists, what things about you current paradigm arent meeting the needs of the “bad” parts , and then cull the garbage and integrate the remaining multiples. And the word “should?” I’d cross it off my vocabulary list. There’s no telling if they belong to you or your church/upbringing/society/etc.
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Ok your reasoning is a little flawed. No offense, after I stop reading your post you can totally cease to exist for me. So no you aren’t the center of the universe. U are the center of the universe IN YOUR MIND ONLY lol. But if you really think this way, it explains why you need and expect so much attention on a constant basis.
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Maybe I should have prefaced this post that people should take it with a grain of salt. Really my overall belief is that I should be able to control my own actions and intentions of the things I around me. I don’t really believe that I control everything, but everyone influences everything that they come in contact with. Kind of like the butterfly effect on wind changes.
If I could be this egotistical, then I would have to have 100% control over my mind and we can all see that is not happening. But it is how I think. I think that I can influence the things around me. I just have to choose how I do that and I get to choose my reaction to it as well.
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But I also think by giving yourself so much influence over things, you also take on too much responsibility for them too. That creates unnecessary anxiety and must be exhausting.
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1) the Loch Ness monster DOES exist
2) when you die, I will still exist
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Not to me… 🙂
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Exactly. I exist, but lot to you, therefore you are a morning mist, as are we all.
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I would rather be the dark fog that rolls in on a dark night.
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Oh and I am taking the Loch Ness monster with me.
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Ok after reading all this, I understand it a lot more. Kind of like those time travel movies where if u change one tiny thing the whole world can change lol
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OK, so you can influence everything. So, you can perceive the universe as you choose.
What do you wish to do with that power?
Do you want to keep wallowing in self-pity and trying to medicate yourself with attention, sex, drugs, and alcohol? Do you want to improve your mind, body, relationships, or career? Do you want to learn to enjoy new things?
You have the power.
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You got my point! In the end it is up to me to control what I can control. Right now I feel things are out of control so I need to work on my inner-self. Once I work on me then it is easier to perceive things in a happier view than what I see them as now.
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OK. If you are going off into orbit please tell me what light is made of. If you say waves or some other nebulous idea forget it. That is what is important. Let there be light. OK, but how?
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Light can be whatever you want it to be because it is all how you perceive light. Is it something that is warming and makes you feel warm and happy or is it a sweltering heat that saps all your energy. In the end you have the power to perceive it any way you want.
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I answered on the previous post but want to make sure you get the info. The therapy is EMDR which stands for some longish words but basically use something akin to hypnotherapy. The patient is awake and aware during the procedure. It is a simple therapy that stimulates the brain in a different way. The theory is that anything too difficult for us to handle gets encapsulated and stored. That is why you react to certain things your wife does even though you know better. There is something stored that triggers every time you are in a place of discomfort. You will not have the ability to recall why you react the way you do because the memory is too deeply embedded. This therapy allows you to pull all this into your consciousness to talk about it and even relive it while under the care of a therapist. It is pretty new. It does not make what happened to you go away but the next time you feel sad, unwanted, unloved you should be able to say, “Oh, yeah, I remember why I feel this way etc” what it does is take the fangs out of your memories.
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Thanks!
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EMDR is amazing. My husband’s therapist used it after he was run over by a truck and developed PTSD. After a few sessions, it was like a 180 and I had my normal husband back.
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